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Ending Violence – Survivor Stories

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Ending Violence – Survivor Stories

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

Do I know when it began, oh yes I certainly do!!

By Theresa Duggan

I was a child of nine. I was sexually abused for three years, till I was twelve, when I made a serious suicide attempt. I was never the same. The innocence of childhood had been robbed from me. I was scared and then tortured by my memories. Was it really my fault, I knew it wasn’t right, why didn’t I leave and never come back. But I did, I kept coming back for three years.

The guilt, the shame, I covered up with drugs and alcohol and that carried me into my late twenties. At that time I took up a relationship with someone who I thought would protect me, I thought no would touch me with him around. He was a biker and what I didn’t realize was that I would become the one who feared and needed protection from him. He isolated me from my family and friends, verbally assaulted me, and beat me. It wasn’t until I was pregnant with his child that I drew the line. No more abuse that could possibly hurt my child. I kicked him out and went into hiding until after the baby was born. In the end I got sole custody and no access granted to me after a year and a half in the court system. I got permission to leave the province and left immediately.

I remained in hiding for sixteen years, and then my daughter found her father on Facebook. I needed to talk to someone experienced with this type of situation. I called Battered Women’s Support Services for support and guidance; I was placed on a waiting list.

I have been seeing a trauma worker for almost two years. I have been brutality honest with myself and my worker. This is new to me; my shame and guilt have always silenced me, now I can’t shut up. I am not someone who needs crisis management, I need to have a long term counselor who I have built trust with, who I am confident in, who respects me whose opinion I value.

My quality of life has changed, my own self-respect, my self awareness, feeling like I’m not alone, a feeling of belonging. All these things I have gained through BWSS. For someone like me, with the history I have there is no quick fix, I have needed slow, consistent support.  This has really worked for me. Just this May I was the recipient of the COAST 2010 Courage to come back award in Mental Health. This award is given to a British Columbian who has overcome extraordinary challenges and adversity and who has given back to their communities.

Public Dreams Window Contest Winner – My Sister’s Closet

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010
Congratulations on My Sister’s Closet -Commercial Drive for WINNING the BEST WINDOW in the Illuminaries Festival, put on by “Public Dreams” -that creates opportunities for people to experience the joy of artistic expression, to see themselves as creative beings, to turn passive consumption into active participation, and to experience …belonging as an individual within a community.
Su and Pam–You did a fantastic job!!! Thank You for all of your hard work!!

WinningWindow

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Beauty Positive – Ending Violence

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

Battered Women’s Support Services has partnered with Leave Out ViolencE (LOVE) in support of youth empowerment and ending violence. 

 

beautypositive almost final

Funded by Vancouver Foundation this initiative brings together youth and fashion.  Events are held at My Sister’s Closet a social enterprise of Battered Women’s Support Services.  For more information email Mariana at mariana@bwss.org

The Province of BC Ignores Aboriginal Groups, Women’s Groups

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/british-columbia/pickton/pickton-inquiry-details-kept-from-aboriginal-groups/article1728852/

 

At Battered Women’s Support Services we had these dreams about and advocated for Mary-Ellen Turpel Lafond and Judge Marion Buller Bennett to lead inquiry with community advisories led by Aboriginal women.  We kept thinking and dreaming, and hoping, it seems beyond hope, that they would get it right this time…this time…

Less Human Trafficking Awareness Campaigns, More Action Campaigns

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Less Human Trafficking Awareness Campaigns, More Action Campaigns

By Jamaal Bell

 

Article posted on Huffington Post and AlterNet.

 

http://www.jamaalbell.com/2010/05/less-human-trafficking-awareness-campaigns/

In April, during the Price of Life Campaign Rally at Ohio State University, I spoke to David Batstone, Director of the Not For Sale Campaign, to discuss human trafficking.

I focused on the question of how can the everyday citizen help combat human trafficking and what change is needed the most: economic change, policy change or cultural change?

Learn how you can help stop human trafficking on the Not For Sale Campaign website.

http://www.jamaalbell.com/

 

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Jamaal Bell is the executive editor for Race-Talk and the media relations manager for the Kirwan Institute for the Study of Race and Ethnicity. Jamaal has also served four years in the United States Navy. He holds a B.S. in Journalism and Public Relations from Ball State University. Follow him on Twitter @Sgt_Justice.

Day of Action for Ashley Machisknic

Monday, September 27th, 2010

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DAY OF ACTION FOR ASHLEY will be held on Monday, October 4, 2010 from 5:00 pm-8:00 pm.

We will meet in front of the Regent Hotel which is just down the street from the Carnegie Centre. We will then march from the Regent to the alley way where Ashley lost her life. There will be drumming, singing, speakers. An elder will do a ceremony for her. From there, we will then march to the police station. (More info within the next few… days)

*Please bring your hearts, drums, your voices and wear your regalia*

“ASHLEY MACHISKNIC was a beautiful First Nations woman whose young life came crashing to the ground Sept. 15 in a sordid lane behind the Regent Hotel in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside.

Area residents and community leaders are convinced that Machiskinic, despite her off and on battles with drug addiction, did not take her own life.

They say Machiskinic, just 22, was the latest of several women to be killed or punished in a highly public way by drug dealers who want to send a message to women about what will happen to them if they don’t pay off their drug debts.

“Women get their heads shaved for a $30 drug debt, they’re killed for $50,” said Carol Martin of the Downtown Eastside Women’s Centre.

Martin and others familiar with the area say drug dealers are doing a booming business on the eastside, and that women, predominantly First Nations women, are still the primary victims of violence.

“Our women are the mules, they are sex-trade workers, they’re drug-addicted, they’re holding or selling drugs for dealers and they’re paying with their lives, now more than ever,” said Martin.

Drug dealers, doing a brisk trade Thursday just after “welfare Wednesday,” boast of profits as high as $15,000 a month.

Their collection methods, if they front a woman drugs that she uses or loses, can be brutal.

“There’s been a few women lately thrown out of windows, at the Balmoral, the Regent, women missing fingers, wearing wigs because their heads have been shaved,” said Gladys Radek, organizer of the annual Walk 4 Justice in support of missing and murdered women in Vancouver and along the Highway of Tears.

“Whoever threw Ashley out chose the busiest time when the alley was full of people buying drugs, to make a point — don’t rip us off.”

Martin was one of the first to the scene after Machiskinic’s death.

“I ran over to her right after she fell and she was staring straight up, just gasping her last breaths — I was totally traumatized and I’ve worked down here for 15 years,” she said.

Eastside leaders charge that drug dealers are able to kill or maim with impunity, because Vancouver police, short of witnesses willing to come forward, write off the women’s deaths as drug overdoses or suicides.

“Violence against women down here … is worse than ever — it’s at an all-time high,” said Dave Dickson, a former Vancouver cop who worked in the eastside and is now a well-respected outreach worker.

“I’ve known Ashley since she was 15. She was an attractive, quiet young woman and there is absolutely no way on earth that she committed suicide by jumping out of a fifth-floor window of the Regent Hotel,” said Dickson.

Standing in the alley in front of a memorial poster put up by Machiskinic’s grieving mother, Cheryl Strongarm, Dickson is approached by people who trust him enough to talk, even with a reporter present.

“Ashley was a beautiful, good-spirited person and she didn’t deserve what those assholes did to her, throwing her out in the alley like a bag of garbage,” said an angry young native man, hiding his face from nearby dealers.

“I was right here when her body hit the street with a sound I’ll never forget. “Are we intelligent people? Give me a break — Ashley didn’t commit suicide by jumping out of the Regent Hotel. She was thrown out to send a message to pay up your drug debts, or else.”

Hiding his face behind an umbrella, he added: “Those dealers are just laughing. They know the police can’t prove nothing down here.”

Marlene George of the Carnegie Centre, who will lead the Oct. 4 Sisters in Spirit March to the spot where Machiskinic perished, agreed: “There’s a code of silence down here. The worst thing you can be is a rat.

“It is very difficult to get the police to speak about this and to acknowledge the drug dealers are behind these events.”

Vancouver police spokesman Const. Lindsey Houghton called Machiskinic’s death “a tragic rumour that has not been corroborated … a case of what appears, after investigation, to be someone taking their own life.”

Houghton, who also knew Machiskinic, urged anyone with information to come forward to police, saying that her death is still an “ongoing investigation.”

* In the rain-sodden lane Thursday, a rose and a sheet of paper posted by the dead woman’s mother paid tribute to “Ashley Nicole Lori Machiskinic. You are sadly missed and never forgotten … Rest in Peace, you’re in a better place. Love Mommy.”

sfournier@theprovince.com
© Copyright (c) The Province

Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/news/Women+being+pushed+their+deaths+drug+dealers+Downtown+Eastside+advocates/3572655/story.html#ixzz10TsITDmA

Media Misses the Point

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Make Violence Against Women a Priority

By Athena Affan

I’ve been thinking about the two recent events involving young women – the party in Pitt Meadows

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/british-columbia/photos-of-gang-rape-go-viral-on-facebook/article1710072/

And the assault and murder of the 15 year old young woman in Delta.

http://www.theprovince.com/sports/Girl+attacked+Delta+park+dies+overnight/3582153/story.html

I’ve looked at a couple of articles about both of these assaults and none of them really seem to apply much analysis around violence against women. There seems to be an overemphasis (distraction) about ‘teens and drugs’ kind of thing.

Both of these events are blatant symptoms of a society which is not making violence against women a priority. Perpetrators get the idea that they can get away with this – and they DO even where there are MANY people around. There were lots of people at the party and the Delta park was described as “busy” on a Saturday afternoon.

This disregard gives perpetrators additional power, increases women’s vulnerability and makes bystanders complacent, detached and party to these attacks on women.

 

Athena Affan

An activist and Stopping the Violence Counsellor at Battered Women’s Support Services

BWSSWomen3

Athena Affan (left) with activists Cait and Parm at Battered Women’s Support Services presentation of Byron Hurt’s film Hip-Hop:  Beyond Beats & Rhymes

The Violence Stops Here – Men Ending Violence

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Re: Photos of teen’s rape by gang go viral on Internet, Sept. 17

By Michael Harris

As a man, I am deeply disturbed that the alleged rape of a 16-year-old girl by seven young men could take place and be recorded and shared with others on Facebook. What is taking place in our society that would make these young males think of drugging and raping the girl, recording the incident and making it public? What is going on in their networks of family and friends to encourage such actions? What type of video games and music are they accessing? Are they heavily into porn? What experiences have they had, individually or collectively, to let them believe their debasing behaviour is in any way acceptable?

As for the girl, I am concerned that she will suffer long-lasting emotional and spiritual damage. How does she go on with her life and keep trusting in her spiritual beliefs? When will she ever trust the company of men again? I pray for her complete recovery.

Our women and children are sacred. The courts and the federal and provincial governments need to work together to make laws with heavy penalties that will deter people from behaving this way. All of our governments, school boards and community councils — and, indeed, all of our spiritual and religious circles — must develop programs that will encourage our youth to respect and protect our life-givers and children.

Michael Harris

Michael

Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/opinion/letters/Sick+sexual+assault+reflection+society+ills/3554370/story.html

The Violence Stops Here – Men Stopping Violence

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Violence Against Women in Our Society is an Epidemic

by Troy Westwood

I need to be careful with this, but it’s something I feel very strongly about. Today in the paper is another story of a vicious attack on a woman by a man and a sentence that is tragic. The father of the girl who was attacked is outraged by the sentence and where it is being served. I can’t imagine his emotions. I don’t know what I would do as a father in that situation.

Violence against women in our society is an epidemic.

It’s everywhere and occurring often. As a man, I say sorry to the women who are in anyway affected by violence. As a man, it is up to me to try to change the environment that exists for far too many of the women in society. Every single day I am around situations in the city where violence is a part of the equation of every day life for women. The presence of violence is abundant, the potential for violence around every corner. So many women being affected, so many moms, so many kids. The trickle down affect of violence and how it plays out in the world around us is immeasurable.

Violence against women is not a women’s issue. Women are the victims. Violence against women is a man’s issue, and it’s up to us as men to put an end to it. There are all kinds of reasons as to why a man might impose violence on a woman. None of the reasons are acceptable. It is something that should never happen. As a man when I see it happen, when I think it might happen, I must speak up. If we as men do not play an active role in declaring war on all forms of violence against women, and choose to sit quietly, then in our silence we are contributing to the problem.

 

Troy Westwood – Little Hawk

 

TroyTVSH

Troy Westwood is known for many things and in no specific order, some of his accomplishments include a 17 year professional football career with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, in which he amassed an amazing total of 30 career team records and is the all-time leader in Blue Bomber scoring. Troy retired as the leader in playoff field goal percentage in CFL history.

He is currently working as a Case Manager at Family Connections, a family reunification program in Winnipeg along with his weekday morning role as Co-Host of the QX104’s Waking Crew.

Troy remains active in the community as a Board Member of Nova House, a women’s shelter and place of safety in Selkirk as well as serving on the Board of the Manitoba Children’s Museum.

A Second Chance by Troy Westwood

Monday, September 27th, 2010

A Second Chance

Posted By: Troy Westwood troywestwood@qx104.astral.com • 9/17/2010 9:11:00 AM

At some point of time, most everyone deserves a second chance. I don’t believe everyone deserves a second chance, but most often a second chance seems the fair thing to do. Enter Eric Tillman. For those who do not know the story, Eric Tillman plead guilty to sexual misconduct for an act he committed while he was the General Manager of the Saskatchewan Roughriders against his 16 year old female babysitter. For his guilty plea his was granted an absolute discharge with no criminal record. Soon after he pleaded guilty the girl and her family granted him forgiveness.

A couple of days ago the Edmonton Eskimos, who as an organization are desperate for wins, decided to hire Tillman as their new General Manager. When I heard Eric Tillman had been hired it made me a little sad. I know he needs to make a living, and I know in time he likely should have a second chance, it just seems to me that not enough time has passed here.

An aspect of this story that really, really bothers me is that Tillman to this day, still contributes some portion of his actions to the fact that he was somehow influenced by painkillers he had taken. It makes me sick that Tillman makes such a claim. As a player in the CFL for 17 years there were several times I had to take a fair amount of painkillers for extended periods of time to help allow me to practice and play. Not once was I ever induced to do something out of character.

Eric Tillman needs to take full responsibility for what he did. His claim as to the affect the painkillers had on his actions is a bunch of BS, and he needs to stop using it as a crutch in helping defend his poor judgment.

Edmonton’s decision to hire Tillman highlights the golden rule in professional sport. Win. Winning is all that matters in professional sport, and when an organization is desperate to win, it might make decisions that it wouldn’t otherwise consider. I guarantee some fairly interesting conversations occurred behind closed doors in Edmonton debating the amount of time that had passed since Tillman’s guilty plea and the need for the team to turn things around.

In professional sport everything finishes second to winning, even social responsibility.

Troy Westwood – Little Hawk

Troy Westwood – Little Hawk

TroyHS

Troy Westwood is known for many things and in no specific order, some of his accomplishments include a 17 year professional football career with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, in which he amassed an amazing total of 30 career team records and is the all-time leader in Blue Bomber scoring. Troy retired as the leader in playoff field goal percentage in CFL history.

He is currently working as a Case Manager at Family Connections, a family reunification program in Winnipeg along with his weekday morning role as Co-Host of the QX104’s Waking Crew.

Troy remains active in the community as a Board Member of Nova House, a women’s shelter and place of safety in Selkirk as well as serving on the Board of the Manitoba Children’s Museum.