Battered Women's Support Services

Dating Violence Program-For Young Women

Do you need someone to talk to?

Battered Women's Support Services provides free support services for any young woman who has experienced dating violence. The abuse may be emotional, physical, sexual or financial. You can also contact us if you aren't sure whether your relationship is abusive and you just have some questions.

Our services are available over the phone or in person. All services are provided by trained counsellor/advocates. For more information or to make an appointment, call 604-687-1867 (we accept collect calls) or email directservices@bwss.org.

Please note that we only answer calls and emails during office hours. If you need support or information outside of BWSS office hours, call WAVAW at 604-255-6344 or toll-free 1-877-392-7583 or Victims Link Helpline at 1-800-563-0808. See Links page for services outside the Lower Mainland.

Some facts about dating violence

Dating violence can happen in straight relationships or gay and lesbian relationships. In straight relationships, the abuser is usually the guy. He uses violence to get power and control over his girlfriend. This violence usually get worse over time, and the victim starts to change her behaviour because she is trying to avoid or stop the abuse. She might also try to hide the abuse from her friends and family, because she is scared or embarrassed.

Violence can be physical (punching, hitting, slapping, shaking, etc), sexual (sexual assault, insulting sexual comments, etc), emotional (threats, insults, manipulation, etc) or financial (withholding or stealing money, preventing someone from getting paid work, etc). Violence in relationships is not an isolated act or an act of self-defence. It is a way of gaining and keeping power and control.

Physical violence, sexual assault and threats of violence are against the law.

For more websites on dating violence, check out the Links page.

Are you in a violent relationship?

These questions might help you think about your relationship.

• Does you boyfriend/girlfriend put you down about your looks, friends or ideas?
• Does your boyfriend/girlfriend get jealous when you do things by yourself or with other people?
• Has your boyfriend/girlfriend ever threatened you or pressured you to do things that you don't want to do?
• Has you boyfriend/girlfriend ever pushed, slapped or hit you? Has it happened more than once?
• Do you make excuses or lie about your boyfriend/girlfriend or your relationship?
• Do you think you can change your boyfriend/girlfriend with enough love and understanding?
• Are you ignoring your boyfriend's/girlfriend's behaviour because you don't want to be single?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, your relationship may already be abusive or on the way to being abusive.

Some things you can do if you are being abused

Abuse is hard to talk about, but staying silent can keep you from getting help. You don't deserve to be abused. If you have been hurt, you have the right to tell someone. Find someone you can trust and share the problem with them. It can help if you find someone who:

• believes you
• doesn't blame you
• doesn't judge you
• stands by you as you make your own choices

This person could be a friend, family member, school counsellor, teacher, or worker at a crisis line or women's shelter. You can also speak to a counsellor at BWSS.

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