1. Control

Abusive relationships are rooted in power and control—and feeling like your partner is keeping track of your every move is a huge warning sign. For instance, did they ask you for all of your private passwords? Invading your privacy is a form of control.

They may also control where you can and cannot go, and what you wear.

2. Isolation

Isolation is one of the first red flags in an abusive relationship. A partner who’s always finding fault with your friends or trying to distance you from your family is purposefully trying to separate you from your loved ones.

Isolation can also create a space for the abusive partner to escalate his other abusive behaviors. Because, ultimately, you may feel like you have no one to talk to about the abuse you are experiencing. This leaves you without a support system during a time where you especially need the support of loved ones.

3. Intimidation

An abusive partner will use a variety of intimidation tactics intended to scare you into compliance. Which, includes making threatening gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, displaying weapons, hurting or killing pets/companion animals and making verbally abusive threats.

4.     Lack of Consent

It’s not consent if you’re being manipulated, pressured, or threatened to say yes. It’s also not consent if you aren’t able to give consent, which includes being asleep, unconscious or under the influence of alcohol, some prescription medications and other drugs.

5.     Put downs

An abusive partner will do everything they can to make you feel bad about yourself in some way. After all, if you believe you’re worthless and that no one else will want you, you’re less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all used and designed to wear down your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.

Every week a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner. For thousands of women and children across Canada there is no “Home Sweet Home”

Resources

Safety Planning

How to help a friend

Safety in relationships for Trans folk

Violence Against Trans and Non-binary People

How to break free from an abusive relationship

Resources in B.C.

Transition houses in Canada

 

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