The holiday season is all about giving, and of course, being kind to others. So as the new year approaches, let’s take this opportunity to sharpen our understanding of consent.
Consent is an agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity. Consent should be clearly and freely communicated.
Implied consent is not OK from a social standpoint and consent needs to be in place explicitly.
Consent cannot be given by individuals who are underage, intoxicated or incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, or asleep or unconscious. If someone agrees to an activity under pressure of intimidation or threat, that isn’t considered consent because it was not given freely. Unequal power dynamics, such as engaging in sexual activity with an employee or student, also mean that consent cannot be freely given.
Consent is about communication.
You can change your mind at any time.
You can withdraw consent at any time. Withdrawing consent can sometimes be challenging or difficult to do verbally, so non-verbal cues can also be used to convey this.
Enthusiastic consent can look like this:
Asking permission before you change the type or degree of sexual activity with phrases like “Is this OK?”
Confirming that there is reciprocal interest before initiating any physical touch.
Letting your partner know that you can stop at any time.
Periodically checking in with your partner, such as asking “Is this still okay?”
Providing positive feedback when you’re comfortable with an activity.
Explicitly agreeing to certain activities, either by saying “yes” or another affirmative statement, like “I’m open to trying.”
Consent does NOT look like this:
Refusing to acknowledge “no”.
A partner who is disengaged, nonresponsive, or visibly upset.
Assuming that wearing certain clothes, flirting, or kissing is an invitation for anything more.
Someone being under the legal age of consent, as defined in law.
Someone being incapacitated because of drugs or alcohol -Pressuring someone into sexual activity by using fear or intimidation.
Assuming you have permission to engage in a sexual act because you’ve done it in the past.
You are not alone.
If you or someone you love is in need of support, please contact the Battered Women’s Support Services Crisis Line:
Call toll-free: 1-855-687-1868 Metro Vancouver: 604-687-1867 Email: EndingViolence@bwss.org
