Can one experience memory loss following an abusive relationship?

Safety Resource Blog Week Seven

The answer is YES! While the effects of abuse can manifest differently in everyone, our brains can be affected by both physical and psychological abuse. In the aftermath of an abusive relationship, many survivors find themselves grappling with trauma-based memory loss. Trauma-based memory loss in the context of abusive relationships is a complex and often misunderstood phenomenon that goes unrecognized and untreated.

In this resource, we will discuss the effects of physical and psychological abuse on the memory of survivors and the journey to healing.

What is Trauma-Based Memory Loss?

Trauma-based memory loss, also known as dissociative amnesia, is a condition where a person loses memories of events, people, or periods of time, typically following a traumatic experience. In the context of abusive relationships, this memory loss is a protective mechanism employed by the brain to cope with overwhelming painful and traumatic memories. Some of this memory loss is the brain’s way of temporarily helping you cope with trauma, while some of it may be permanent due to severe brain injury or deep psychological trauma.

These types of memory loss can be referred to as dissociative amnesia, trauma-based memory loss, or Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), depending on the type of abuse and its severity.

How Does Trauma-Based Memory Loss Manifest in Abusive Relationships?

Survivors who endure repeated emotional or physical trauma often experience gaps in their memories as a way to protect themselves from the emotional pain associated with those experiences or due to brain injuries that impact the brain’s normal functions. As a result, survivors may find themselves unable to recall traumatic incidents accurately, which can lead to their experiences being discredited by society, the judicial system, or the healthcare system. Survivors may even start to doubt themselves and their experiences when they can’t remember details.

Memory Loss in Physical Trauma:

Memory loss resulting from physical trauma can significantly affect ones memory, especially if brain damage occurs as a result of the injury. When the brain is subjected to physical trauma, such as a blow to the head, strangulation, or physical abuse, the impact can disrupt the brain’s normal functioning, leading to memory loss. Physical trauma can also induce post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can cause temporary memory loss as a coping mechanism for the traumatic event that caused the injury. The severity of the injury typically determines the extent and duration of the memory loss.

To learn more about Traumatic Brain Injury, please see Concussions in the Spotlight: Supporting Survivors with Traumatic Brain Injuries.

Memory Loss in Emotional or Psychological Trauma:

Memory loss resulting from emotional or psychological trauma can significantly affect your memory. This loss of memory is a defense mechanism the brain develops to protect itself from psychological damage. When individuals experience severe emotional distress, such as that caused by abuse, violence, or emotionally traumatic event, their brain may respond by blocking out the painful memories.

Memory loss in emotional or psychological trauma is often a result of dissociation, where the mind disconnects from the traumatic experience to shield itself from emotional overload. This can lead to various forms of amnesia:

Emotional or psychological trauma can also lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), manifesting as flashbacks and intrusive thoughts about the trauma.

Navigating the Road to Healing:

Recovery from trauma-induced memory loss can be a lengthy journey, taking several weeks, months, or even years to fully heal. If you suspect that you or someone you love may be experiencing trauma-induced memory loss, here are some symptoms to look out for:

• If you find yourself relying on alcohol or substances to cope.
• If you feel emotionally disconnected and numb.
• If you are plagued by flashbacks, nightmares, or unsettling memories.
• If you struggle to function effectively at home or work.
• If you are overwhelmed by feelings of fear, anxiety, or depression.
• If you experience difficulty sleeping or suffer from insomnia.
• If you notice physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, or muscle tension without a clear medical explanation.

Recognizing these symptoms is the first step towards seeking support and healing. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals who can offer guidance, understanding, and assistance on your path to recovery. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse or these symptoms, it’s important to seek support from a health professional who can provide appropriate diagnosis and treatment. Therapeutic interventions such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), trauma-focused therapy, and neurorehabilitation can play a pivotal role in mitigating the impact of memory loss and cognitive deficits in survivors of domestic abuse.

We call for the development and expansion of specialized supports for survivors who have experienced TBIs as a result of intimate partner or domestic violence. Survivors of IPV who have experienced strangulation, for example, require specialized care and supports. At this time, survivors in the Lower Mainland can access the Strangulation Clinic, offered by the Fraser Health Authority in Surrey. Here, survivors receive assessment, documentation, counselling, and other treatment services for their injuries, but these services need to be available province-wide, and in rural, remote, and Indigenous communities as well.

To learn more about supporting survivors with Traumatic Brain Injuries, please visit https://www.bwss.org/supporting-survivors-with-traumatic-brain-injuries/.

Disclaimer:

This resource is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for medical advice. We recognize that everyone’s situation is unique, and the content provided is intended to offer a general understanding of abuse and its effects. It is always advisable to seek guidance from qualified medical professionals or specialists tailored to your specific circumstances.

Safety Planning for Non-Status Immigrants, Refugees, and Refugee Claimants Facing Intimate Partner, Domestic, or Sexualized Violence

Safety Resource Blog Week Six

Being a newcomer has its own set of challenges. Many individuals and families flee their homes seeking refuge from violence and oppression, hoping to build a new life centred on safety and security. For many, this move is a life-saving opportunity.

However, for many newcomers, particularly visibly marginalized people, the resettlement experience is often tainted by the looming fears of discrimination, racism, and social isolation. These challenges become especially formidable when attempting to escape from domestic violence.

At times, women and children fleeing a violent country, state, or regime find that escaping to a new environment doesn’t necessarily mean freedom from violence; in fact, they are at a higher risk of violence and abuse due to economic and language barriers.

Newcomer women experiencing domestic violence or intimate partner violence face significant challenges, making it difficult to escape their abusive partners. Often, abusive partners exploit their vulnerabilities, using tactics such as threats of deportation, destruction or withholding of important documents, and isolation from community support networks.

Furthermore, abusive partners may use coercion tactics to sabotage opportunities of integration by isolating them from the community and depriving them of opportunities that would benefit their integration, such as newcomer life skills training or language classes in an attempt to maintain control over their victims and obstruct their victim’s ability to seek help.

In light of these challenges, it is important to develop safety plans tailored to the specific needs and circumstances of non-status, immigrants, refugees, and refugee claimants facing intimate partner, domestic, or sexualized violence.

These safety plans should cover strategies for securing important documents, accessing emergency shelters, navigating legal avenues for protection, and connecting with culturally appropriate support services.

So, what is a safety plan?

A safety plan is a personalized strategy designed to facilitate a safe escape from an abusive situation.

It serves as a key tool in assessing and outlining options for safety and freedom. Given that the risk of lethal violence tends to escalate during or after a woman leaves an abusive partner, planning for safety becomes critical.

Personalized safety plans are adaptable tools crafted to keep individuals safe in ever-changing situations. They encompass information specific to you and your life, enhancing safety at school, work, home, and other places you visit daily. These plans can also extend to include considerations for your children, pets, workplace, and school.

If you or someone you know is at risk and needs resources to create a personalized safety plan, visit BWSS.org/why-safety/planning.

Utilize our interactive online tool to create your personalized safety plan, or contact our Safety Changes Everything advocates toll-free at 1-855-687-1868.

In Metro Vancouver, call 604-687-1867 for support in creating your own safety plan.

What are essential components a newcomer domestic abuse victim should consider into their safety plan?

Keep in mind:

For a safety plan to be effective, it’s crucial to ensure that the information provided is honest and accurate.

Once you’ve finished creating your safety plan, store it in a secure location that is easily accessible to you. Consider sharing a copy with a trusted person you can rely on.

If you feel uncomfortable keeping a printed copy, you can still utilize the safety tips and try to memorize at least one phone number of a trusted individual. This way, you’ll have a backup plan in case of emergency.

How can I provide support and safety planning for non-status, refugee, refugee claimants and immigrant women facing domestic violence?

There are many reasons why women may be forced to migrate, including the dismantling of their lands, gender-based violence, oppression, persecution, political upheaval, femicide, war, economic violence, and the impacts of colonization and globalization.

Upon arrival in Canada, a migrate woman’s immigration status will play a huge role on the level of barriers and oppression she may face, particularly when accessing services.

Recognizing the unique needs of migrant women who have fled under extreme circumstances and with an immense need for support to overcome the impacts of migration, gender-based violence, and the resettlement journey is the first step in working with newcomer women.

Among the steps and actions needed when providing services to migrant women and girls in their journey towards reaching safety, it’s important to adopt a feminist, anti-oppressive, trauma-informed, intersectional, decolonial, and culturally appropriate approach.

This ensures that support is tailored to their unique experiences and challenges, fostering a safe and empowering environment for healing and recovery.

To learn more about how better support women with precarious immigration status, refugees, refugee claimants and immigrant women facing domestic violence visit the links below:

Understanding Online Coercive Control in the Context of Intimate Partner Violence

Safety Resource Blog Week Five

Nowadays, many survivors’ journeys to seeking safety from an abusive relationship start with technology.

Technology is a powerful ally. Whether it’s for research, accessing resources, creating safety plans, finding support groups, or reaching out for help, the internet and technology stand as lifelines for many survivors.

However, technology also has a dark side, presenting risks for victims of violence. In the hands of abusers, this powerful ally can transform into a weapon capable of inflicting harm on their partners. This malicious use includes surveillance, tracking devices or software, threatening messages, restricting access to technology, manipulation of smart home tools, and a range of other insidious tactics.

In this digital era, the very tools that offer support to survivors also harbour potential threats, highlighting the complex balance in harnessing technology for empowerment while safeguarding against its malicious misuse.

What is Online Coercive Control?

Online coercive control refers to a form of abusive behaviour in which one person uses technology to control, manipulate, or threaten another person.

This behaviour can occur within any form of relationship, whether it’s with an intimate partner, within a family dynamic, or even among friends. It can be carried out using any technological devices, social media, and other online platforms to monitor, harass, and exert power and control over the victim. In the context of intimate partnerships, this type of abuse is often referred to as Technology-Based Intimate Partner Violence (TB-IPV).

It’s important to remember that online abuse takes on various forms, ranging from hurtful actions like spreading embarrassing or cruel content about someone, to impersonation, doxing, stalking, and electronic surveillance. Additionally, it includes the unauthorized use of someone’s photos and the issuance of violent threats.

The demonstration of online abuse is diverse and includes a spectrum of harmful behaviours that can deeply negatively impact victims. Learn more about online abuse, the tactics, and internet safety here.

Let’s continue to delve deeper into the complex web of online coercive control, exploring its manifestations, impact, and strategies for both awareness and protection.

Here are some ways that online coercive control appears in an intimate partner relationship:

What’s the Impact on Survivors?

The outcome of online abuse goes far beyond the online world, affecting the emotional, psychological, and physical well-being of victims.

This can lead to stress, anxiety, and a heightened risk of depression for those trapped in this form of abuse.

Beyond the immediate emotional toll, victims often deal with the loss of their self-esteem. The isolation from support networks further adds to the difficulties faced by survivors, creating an environment where seeking assistance becomes increasingly difficult.

Here are some ways to stay safe:

Remember, staying safe from online coercive control involves a combination of technological vigilance, education, and seeking support.

Recognizing Red Flags: Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Safety Resource Blog Week Four

Last week’s resource, we discussed the differences between a toxic relationship and an abusive relationship.

So, in this resource, let’s dive into the everyday warning signs of abuse and gain some understanding of tackling problems before they escalate further and potentially cause more harm.

Have you ever stopped to assess the health of your relationship or suspected that someone close to you might be involved in an unhealthy situation?

Spotting the signs of an abusive relationship can indeed be challenging, but they serve as indicators of a potential abusive relationship.

It’s crucial for maintaining a healthy dynamic and fostering a positive environment in your relationship. The people closest to us hold significant influence over our joy and mental well-being, so it’s vital to be vigilant in looking for these signs.

Understanding Toxic and Abusive Relationships

On the journey to weaving those meaningful connections, we often encounter relationships that are labeled as “toxic.” This term is commonly used across various facets of our lives, whether it’s within platonic friendships, family dynamics, workplace environments, or intimate partnerships.

Toxic relationships encompass a multitude of negative behaviours, including constant criticism, communication breakdowns, and emotional manipulation, which collectively foster an unhealthy atmosphere.

Abusive relationships entail a more severe escalation, manifesting in various forms such as physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, control, and manipulation, ultimately creating a heightened sense of danger. However, both types of environments can be unsafe, hostile, and challenging to navigate.

It’s crucial to note that toxic relationships have the potential to escalate into abusive relationships. Recognizing the warning signs early on can help prevent further harm.

Identifying Red Flags

Understanding the signs of a toxic relationship may be the beginning to the journey of tackling the deeper issues at play. Realizing that an unhealthy connection might just escalate into abuse is an important awareness. Staying alert to those sly hints of trouble becomes key in navigating these intricate dynamics and finding your way to safety.

Now, let’s take a closer look on some behaviour’s worth keeping an eye out for.

Spotting Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Spotting these signs is imperative for individuals to assess the realities of their relationships and take appropriate steps to address and resolve toxic dynamics. If you or someone you’re close to finds themselves tangled up in abusive relationship, seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can be helpful in breaking free from harmful patterns before they escalate.

(Learn more about the difference between a toxic relationship and an abusive relationship in last week’s resource)

Seeking Help

When you’re entangled in an abusive relationship or suspect someone close to you might be, taking a step to seek help is necessary for finding a resolution.

We understand that it might feel quite daunting to take that first step, but keep in mind, you’re not alone, and there might be local resources waiting to support you.

Understanding that every survivor’s journey is unique and the road to intervention differs for each person is key. Seeking help can mean various things, like opening up to a trusted friend, setting boundaries, walking away from the relationship, taking a break, or creating a safety plan.

The key is recognizing that there are many paths to steer you toward a healthier and safer environment.

You are not alone.

If you or someone you love is in need of support, please contact the Battered Women Support Services Crisis Line:

Call toll-free: 1-855-687-1868
Metro Vancouver: 604-687-1867

Toxic Relationships vs. Abusive Relationships

Safety Resource Blog Week Three

For today’s resource, we will be distinguishing the differences between toxic and abusive dynamics, which is a must when moving through the complexities of human connections.

While both terms are often used interchangeably, it’s key to recognize the subtle yet significant differences.

Toxic relationships pack in a bunch of negativities—think constant criticism, communication black holes, and emotional puppetry, all brewing up an unhealthy environment.

On the continuum, abusive relationships involve a more severe escalation, with many different forms such as physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, control, and manipulation, creating a heightened sense of danger.

Nonetheless both environments can be unsafe, hostile and difficult to navigate.

Here are common types of abuse:

It’s important to note that abuse can manifest in various ways, and the severity may vary. For additional information on abuse or to seek support, please visit bwss.org.

Effects of Toxic Relationships

The impacts of toxic relationships go way beyond just simply messing with your emotions; but also affecting mental health, self-worth, and overall well-being—persisting both during the relationship and after its termination.

We need to challenging the idea that a toxic relationship without physical violence is less serious. The impact of verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse can be just as significant as the more visible forms.

Survivors of toxic relationships often face various negative consequences. Let’s take a look at what survivors of toxic relationships may encounter in the long term.

Recognizing and tackling these long-term effects is key for survivors aiming to shake off the negative impact of a toxic relationship and kickstart their journey toward healing and recovery.

Getting support from friends, family, or mental health experts can be the supports you need to make a change.

Seeking Help

When you’re entangled in a toxic relationship or suspect someone close to you might be, taking a step to seek help is necessary for finding a resolution.

We understand that it might feel quite daunting to take that first step, but keep in mind, you’re not alone, and there might be local resources waiting to support you.

Understanding that every survivor’s journey is unique and the road to intervention differs for each person is key. Seeking help can mean various things, like opening up to a trusted friend, setting boundaries, walking away from the relationship, taking a break, or creating a safety plan.

The key is recognizing that there are many paths to steer you toward a healthier and safer environment.