The Aspirations of Fathers: A Call to End Domestic Violence This Father’s Day
What is a Father?
Father – fa·ther /ˈfäTHər/ (noun) – a male parent, a man in relation to his child or children.
A father is often seen as a pillar of strength, a beacon of wisdom, and a source of unconditional love. But beyond these traditional roles, what does it truly mean to be a father? This Father’s Day, we reflect on the profound responsibilities fathers hold in breaking the cycle of abuse and fostering a safe, loving environment for today and the future generations.
The Role of a Father in Ending Domestic Violence
A father is more than just a biological connection. He is a mentor, a guide, and a protector. He shapes the lives of his children not just by providing for their physical needs, but by nurturing their hearts and minds. However, it is crucial to recognize that for fathers or father figures who use violence against mothers, they create a legacy of harm for children that can continue for generations. The association between witnessing intimate partner violence and later perpetration has been found in 39 studies including:
63% of boys who witness their mothers being abused by their fathers grow up to be abusive.
70% of spousal violence cases with child witnesses, the violence was directed at their mothers.
Men who witness intimate partner violence in childhood are more likely to commit such acts in adulthood.
These figures highlight the critical role fathers play in either perpetuating or ending the cycle of violence. This Father’s Day, we call on all fathers to reflect on their roles and take concrete steps to foster non-violence.
Reflecting on the Fullest Aspiration of Fathers
Today, on Father’s Day, let’s reflect on the highest aspirations of fatherhood. What do we aspire to be as fathers committed to ending domestic violence? Here are some vital roles that fathers must embrace:
Fathers as Safety. A father should be a sanctuary for his children, a place where they feel safe and protected. This means creating an environment free from fear and violence, where love and respect are the foundation of every interaction.
Fathers as Trust. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. As fathers, it’s imperative to build and maintain trust with our children. This involves being honest, reliable, and consistent in our words and actions.
Fathers as Accountability. Accountability means taking responsibility for one’s actions and their impact on others. Fathers must hold themselves accountable for their behavior, setting an example for their children to follow. This includes recognizing and addressing any abusive tendencies and seeking help when necessary.
Fathers as Commitment. Being a father is a lifelong commitment. It means being present, engaged, and dedicated to the well-being and development of one’s children, no matter the circumstances. It also means committing to a personal journey of growth and change to prevent and stop violence.
Father Is More Than Just a Noun
Father – fa·ther /ˈfäTHər/ (verb) – Men in action to stop violence against women and children.
Fatherhood is not just a noun; it’s a verb. It requires action, especially in the fight against violence. This Father’s Day, we urge all fathers to take a stand against domestic violence. By committing to this cause, we can break the cycle of abuse and build a better, safer world for our children.
I’ve witnessed in my life and through my work, the immediate and long-term impact violence has on people’s lives. I pledge because the Father’s Day pledge is about knowing that men are indeed messengers and change agents needed to transform the culture of violence that exists in our communities.”
Quentin Walcott, CONNECT NYC
Take the Pledge to End Violence
This Father’s Day, take the pledge to end violence. Pledge to be a father and raise future fathers who embodies safety, trust, accountability, and commitment. Pledge to be a person who stands against violence in all its forms.
Join Ending Violence
Join our mailing list to stay updated on the effort to end violence and learn more about how to take action.
Donate to End Violence
Your support is crucial. Donate today to help us continue our work in ending domestic, intimate partner and sexualized violence.
Learn More
Learn more about gender-based violence. Explore resources on how men can take action to end violence for Father’s Day and everyday (see resources below).
Let’s commemorate Father’s Day by recognizing the role fathers have in ending domestic violence in our communities to help ensure a future where mothers are safe and all children can grow up in a world free from violence and witnessing love and respect.
Resources for Fathers & Father Figures
- Resources for Men committed to ending violence against Women
- Abusive Men Describe the Benefits of Violence
- Men – What YOU Can Do
- Violence Prevention in Action
- Involving men in ending violence against women by Maggie Zielger
- Men building gender equality: A guide to XY’s content
- Gender equality: Engaging men in change
