Apr 26, 2025 | Battered Women's Support Services
Yesterday, we lost Virginnia Giuffre — a woman who refused to be erased.
Her death is a tragedy not only of one life lost, but of a world still unwilling to protect those it exploits.
Virginnia stood against a machinery of misogynist violence — a world where the suffering of girls and women is currency for the powerful.
She faced a system that traded in the bodies of the vulnerable while cloaking itself in wealth, prestige, and immunity.
She dragged into the light what was never meant to be seen: the brutal economy where girls are groomed, sold, discarded — and the architects of that exploitation wear tailored suits and sit atop empires.
She named what the world tried to forget. She fought what the world tried to excuse.
The distance between those who hold money and those whose bodies are used to fuel it has always been vast. Virginnia, a young girl from working-class roots, was forced into the orbit of billionaires, royalty, and titans of industry who treated human life as disposable.
She survived what they did not consider survival-worthy.
And then — impossibly — she spoke.
The cost was unthinkable.
Virginnia was not only hunted by those she exposed, but by a public eager to turn its gaze elsewhere — to ridicule her, to shame her, to punish her for daring to reveal the grotesque heart of power.
They built systems to silence her. She answered with truth.
Today, as we mourn her death, we must also sit with a terrible knowing:
that many are questioning whether this was suicide — or whether darker forces silenced her for good.
In a world where money launders violence and where those who speak out too loudly are made to disappear, these questions are not paranoia; they are survival instincts.
And we must remember: Virginnia was never alone.
She fought for every girl whose name was never printed.
Every young woman lost in the machinery of abuse.
Every survivor still fighting to be believed.
Every victim whose life was stolen — quietly, brutally — while the world turned its face away.
This system is still alive.
It is harming girls and women at this very moment.
It feeds off poverty, racialization, migration, vulnerability, and trauma.
It thrives when we are silent.
It is not enough to mourn Virginnia.
We must honour her.
Honouring her means dismantling the gilded cages where exploitation is normalized and protected.
It means refusing the false comfort of forgetting.
It means building a world where speaking out is met with safety, with love, with unbreakable solidarity.
At Ending Violence, we know the terrain she crossed — because we walk it with survivors every day.
We know the cost of telling the truth.
We know the violence stitched into the fabric of wealth, patriarchy, and power.
Virginnia Giuffre deserved a world that safeguarded her life.
Every survivor does.
We commit ourselves to building that world — without apology, without delay, with fierce love and unrelenting defiance.
For Virginnia. For all who came before her. For all who will come after.
Rest in power, Virginnia.
We will not forget.
We will not stop
Apr 25, 2025 | Battered Women's Support Services
The end of a relationship doesn’t always mean the end of an ex-partner’s abuse. In fact, post-separation can often be an especially difficult and dangerous time, as abusive partners may continue and even escalate their efforts to exert power through manipulation, intimidation, or harassment. If you are facing this situation, we have prepared a few strategies to support the safety and well-being of you and your children.
Learn more about post-separation abuse. Please visit our other resources.
Here are some important strategies to consider when dealing with post-separation abuse:
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Design a thorough safety plan to help protect yourself in various scenarios. This plan should address potential threats and outline steps to take if the abusive partner shows up unexpectedly. Think about where you could go for immediate safety, who to contact, and what actions to take. Always be prepared, even if the situation has never escalated to physical violence. It’s crucial to avoid being alone with your ex, regardless of the nature of past interactions.
BWSS Safety Planning Tool
BWSS offers an interactive online safety planning tool, which includes tailored advice for different situations, including safety planning with children, pets, while pregnant, with technology, in the workplace, with a protective order, with drug and alcohol use, and with emotional health.
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Set clear and non-negotiable boundaries with your abusive partner. Limit communication to what is absolutely necessary—such as co-parenting arrangements—and avoid interactions outside of this. Keeping exchanges brief and focused on logistical matters will help minimize opportunities for manipulation and control. Stick to your boundaries even when they are challenged.
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Having a strong support network is essential during this time. Reach out to your friends, family, or professional services for guidance and assistance. This support can come in many forms, such as therapy, support groups, or legal advice. These resources can help you stay strong and empowered while navigating the emotional and legal complexities of post-separation abuse.
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Keep an accurate, detailed record of any incidents of abuse, including dates, times, and specific descriptions of events. This documentation can be essential for legal proceedings, securing protective orders, or establishing a pattern of abuse. It’s important to note that even if incidents may seem minor, documenting everything builds a comprehensive account.
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Financial control can be a powerful tool for abusive partners, so it’s critical to establish financial independence as soon as possible. Set up separate bank accounts and take steps to secure child support payments. Additionally, review your credit report to check for any unauthorized accounts or financial obligations created by your abusive partner. Legal support can help ensure an equitable division of assets and protect your financial security during this transition.
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If you have children, their safety is paramount. Take immediate steps to secure their well-being, which may include contacting social services or seeking a court-ordered welfare assessment. Keep detailed records of abusive incidents, as well as any signs that may affect your children. Consider seeking mental health support for your children, such as play therapy, and work closely with schools and child services to protect their safety.
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Speak with a lawyer to understand your legal options, such as seeking restraining orders or determining custody arrangements. Legal counsel can help you navigate the complex issues of post-separation abuse and protect your rights. In some cases, it might be possible to pursue criminal charges depending on local laws, and a lawyer can assist with these decisions. If needed, inquire about advocacy services that can support you in court.
BWSS Justice Centre
The Justice Centre at BWSS provides free, trauma- and violence-informed legal advocacy for women experiencing intimate partner and domestic violence. We support survivors in the areas of family law, immigration law, child protection, and criminal law. Please note that the Justice Centre does not provide legal advice but offers legal information, advocacy, and support to help survivors navigate the legal system.
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Amidst the stress of navigating post-separation abuse, don’t forget to care for yourself. Take time for self-care and engage in activities that nurture your strength and build your confidence. Your mental and physical well-being are vital to your recovery. Whether it’s pursuing hobbies, seeking therapy, or simply taking time to rest, focus on recharging your energy and rebuilding your sense of self.
Post-separation abuse presents unique and complex challenges, but by understanding the tactics used by abusive partners and taking decisive actions, you can regain control of your life. This journey requires strength, resilience, and a clear plan. By taking steps to protect your safety, your children’s safety, and your emotional well-being, you can create a path toward healing and reclaim the peace you deserve. Always remember, you are not alone—support is available, and you have the power to protect yourself and your loved ones.
If you or someone you know needs support, BWSS is here. You can create a safety plan or speak with an advocate confidentially by calling our crisis line at 1-855-687-1868. Together, we can explore your options and help you reclaim safety.
Violence Against Women Prevention Week (April 20–April 26) and Fashion Revolution Week (April 22–April 27)
During this Violence Against Women Prevention Week, as we #WearJustice #BuildSafety, we will share more resources on post-separation abuse – why a survivor might return, common tactics of post-separation abuse and provide strategies for overcoming them. Stay tuned.
Apr 25, 2025 | Battered Women's Support Services
Post-separation abuse is when an abusive partner continues to exert power and control even after the relationship has ended. This phase is often the most dangerous—yet it’s one of the most misunderstood. Many people assume that leaving marks the end of the violence, but for many survivors, it’s just the beginning of a new chapter of harm.
Recognizing these tactics is crucial for safety, healing, and seeking support. Below are some of the most common forms of post-separation abuse—and what you can do about them.
Learn more about post-separation abuse.
Please visit our other resources.
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After leaving an abusive partner, threats often become a central tactic used to maintain fear and control. These threats may target your safety, your children, your pets, your reputation, or your financial wellbeing. An abusive partner might say they’ll ruin your career, leak private photos or information, or leave you destitute. In some cases, they may manipulate you by threatening to harm themselves or end their life—weaponizing guilt to keep you entangled. While some threats are used purely for psychological control, many survivors have experienced those threats becoming reality. That’s why every threat should be taken seriously.
What You Can Do:
- Document all threats and keep records in a safe place.
- Reach out for legal advice—protective orders may be an option.
- Talk to someone you trust or connect with a support service like BWSS.
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Even after separation, an abusive partner may use emotional tactics to regain control. This can include guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or emotional blackmail. He may break down your boundaries over time—just enough to get face-to-face—then turn on the charm, mimicking the early days of the relationship to draw you back in. This emotional tug-of-war is a powerful tactic used to confuse and destabilize.
If you still share children, property, or pets, communication may feel unavoidable. But when that communication turns manipulative or emotionally abusive, it’s crucial to protect your mental and emotional safety.
What You Can Do:
- Set firm boundaries and limit contact as much as possible.
- Use written or third-party communication tools if contact is necessary.
- Seek support from mental health professionals to help you navigate your emotions during this challenging time.
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Financial abuse doesn’t always end with separation. In many cases, it intensifies. Abusive partners may withhold money, sabotage employment, or create financial barriers to force survivors into dependence or pressure them to return. For many survivors, finances are not just about survival—they become another battlefield where power and control play out long after leaving.
What You Can Do:
- Move your income into a personal account only you can access.
- Cancel joint credit cards and monitor your credit report regularly.
- Keep records of any shared debts or loans in your name.
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For many survivors, separation doesn’t bring peace—it simply shifts the form of abuse. Abusive partners often weaponize custody and parenting arrangements to maintain control. This can look like violating visitation schedules, refusing to return the children on time, or using communication about the kids as an excuse to harass or manipulate. Another painful tactic is parental alienation—when the abusive partner tries to turn your children against you, distorting their perception and undermining your role as a parent.
This form of post-separation abuse can leave both survivors and children emotionally exhausted, caught in a cycle of confusion, loyalty conflicts, and fear.
What You Can Do:
- Document all custody violations and harmful behaviours.
- Avoid speaking negatively about your ex to your children.
- Seek professional support for your children help to address any of your children’s needs during this difficult time.
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Even after a relationship ends, an abusive partner may continue to intrude on your life through persistent, unwanted contact. This can include repeated phone calls, texts, emails, and messages on social media. Some may go as far as showing up at your home, workplace, or community spaces uninvited. These tactics are meant to instill fear, assert dominance, and wear you down emotionally. It’s a clear form of post-separation abuse—and it can escalate quickly.
What You Can Do:
- Keep a record of all incidents and communications.
- Consider applying for a restraining or protection order.
- Reach out to support services for help with safety planning.
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Post-separation violence is the most extreme and dangerous form of abuse. When power and control begin to slip, some abusive partners escalate to physical violence—often acting on threats they’ve made before. For women and gender-diverse survivors, the period immediately after leaving is the most lethal. In fact, the risk of intimate partner homicide is highest within the first three months of separation. No threat should ever be taken lightly.
What You Can Do:
- Create a safety plan with support from a trusted service or shelter.
- Call 911 if you are in immediate danger.
- Connect with organizations like BWSS for ongoing safety and support.
Post-separation abuse is not just a continuation of harm—it’s a deliberate attempt to regain control. Recognizing the tactics is a powerful first step in protecting yourself and those you love. You are not alone, and help is available. At BWSS, we’re here to support you with advocacy, legal resources, counselling, and safety planning every step of the way.
If you or someone you know needs support, BWSS is here. You can create a safety plan or speak with an advocate confidentially by calling our crisis line at 1-855-687-1868. Together, we can explore your options and help you reclaim safety.
Violence Against Women Prevention Week (April 20–April 26) and Fashion Revolution Week (April 22–April 27)
During this Violence Against Women Prevention Week, as we #WearJustice #BuildSafety, we will share more resources on post-separation abuse – why a survivor might return, common tactics of post-separation abuse and provide strategies for overcoming them. Stay tuned.
Apr 24, 2025 | Battered Women's Support Services
It’s often challenging for many people to understand why a survivor choose to stay in the relationship or would even consider returning to their abusive partner after taking action to escape and leave.
While this may not seem logical to others, survivors navigate complex situations that often involve considerations for their safety as well as the safety of others.
There are several additional barriers that can contribute to survivors returning to or staying in an abusive relationship. Here are 5 completely understandable reasons…
Learn about post-separation abuse, the continuation of power and control tactics by an abusive partner after the relationship has ended.
Read Jade’s Story, a true story of a survivor and her two sons’ journey through post-separation abuse.
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Survivors may fear that leaving will result in escalated violence or even lethal consequences, either for themselves or for loved ones.
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Financial dependence on the abusive partner, particularly when children are involved, can make it extremely difficult for victims to leave and support themselves independently.
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Abusive often isolate their victims from friends, family, and support networks, leaving them feeling alone and without resources or a support system to turn to. Making it challenging to leave the relationship.
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Many survivors with children must consider the possibility of encountering a family court system that awards shared custody with their abusive ex-partner. They worry about the safety and security of their children left alone with the abusive ex-partner, who may retaliate by harming their children, ultimately leading them to return in order to protect their children.
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Despite the abuse, survivors may have conflicting feelings of emotional attachment to their abusive partner, making it challenging to break away from the relationship entirely.
Navigating these barriers requires careful consideration and often involves difficult decisions about safety, security, and personal well-being. So, the next time you’re tempted to say, “Why doesn’t she just leave already?” consider the points we just discussed.
Just as survivors may have reasons for returning to their abusive partners, the partners who are abusive will exploit the same vulnerable areas that survivors experience as tactics for post-separation abuse.
If you or someone you know needs support, BWSS is here. You can create a safety plan or speak with an advocate confidentially by calling our crisis line at 1-855-687-1868. Together, we can explore your options and help you reclaim safety.
Violence Against Women Prevention Week (April 20–April 26) and Fashion Revolution Week (April 22–April 27)
During this Violence Against Women Prevention Week, as we #WearJustice #BuildSafety, we will share more resources on post-separation abuse – why a survivor might return, common tactics of post-separation abuse and provide strategies for overcoming them. Stay tuned.
Apr 23, 2025 | Battered Women's Support Services
Post-separation abuse is the continuation of power and control tactics by an abusive partner after the relationship has ended. It’s a dangerous and often misunderstood phase in the cycle of abuse. While many believe that leaving ends the violence, the reality for countless survivors is that separation can trigger an escalation. Abusive partners may weaponize systems, children, finances, or threats in a relentless effort to maintain control. Post-separation abuse is not about love or reconciliation — it’s about dominance and retaliation. The road to safety can look differently and for many survivors of domestic, intimate partner and/or sexualized violence, escaping by leaving the relationship unfortunately doesn’t necessarily mean they are automatically safe from future violence an ex-partner who has been abusive.
Read Jade’s Story, a true story of a survivor and her two sons’ journey through post-separation abuse.
When abusive partners lose power in their relationship due to separation, they may escalate their abusive tactics to regain control. Post-separation abuse can manifest in various forms of coercive control, including harassment, physical abuse, financial abuse, intimidation, and lethal violence.
Abusive partners may also use different behaviours such as persuading to come back, threatening the access to your children, restricting your access to funds or threatening physical harm on themselves or your loved ones.
The abusive partner is threatened by the separation and may experience it as a declaration by his partner that she is capable of surviving without him. Not only that but that she is the best judge of what is good for her, and especially that her needs shouldn’t always take the back seat to his.
The abusive partner is likely very afraid that his partner may discover how good it feels to live without put downs and other abuse. She may start to think of her own thoughts without him and start believing in herself as an independent and strong. Importantly, she might discover how much better she is without him.
Any survivor who’s made a step towards safety may feel guilty enough return to their abusive partner to avoid the possible negative outcomes.
If you or someone you know needs support, BWSS is here. You can create a safety plan or speak with an advocate confidentially by calling our crisis line at 1-855-687-1868. Together, we can explore your options and help you reclaim safety.
Violence Against Women Prevention Week (April 20–April 26) and Fashion Revolution Week (April 22–April 27)
During this Violence Against Women Prevention Week, as we #WearJustice #BuildSafety, we will share more resources on post-separation abuse – why a survivor might return, common tactics of post-separation abuse and provide strategies for overcoming them. Stay tuned.
Apr 22, 2025 | Battered Women's Support Services
She walked away from the abuse. He didn’t stop. Walk in her shoes.
As Canada marks Violence Against Women Prevention Week (April 20–26), Fashion Revolution Week (April 22–27), and Mother Earth Day (April 22), BWSS launches Wear Justice, Build Safety—a campaign that exposes the deep ties between gender-based violence, the fashion industry, and environmental destruction.
In partnership with our social enterprise, My Sister’s Closet, this campaign uses fashion to make visible what’s often hidden: post-separation abuse. It’s happening in plain sight. It’s happening to someone in your neighbourhood.
The shoes featured in these posters belong to women who made the hardest decision of their lives—to leave an abusive partner. But leaving didn’t end the violence. It only changed its form.
He didn’t stop.
The harassment continued. The control deepened. The abuse followed her through courtrooms, parenting schedules, social media, and city streets.
This is post-separation abuse—one of the most dangerous and least recognized forms of gender-based violence. It is systemic. It is relentless. And it is far too common.
Just as the Earth is treated as expendable, so too are women’s lives treated as negotiable within legal and social systems that fail to protect them. On Mother Earth Day, we are reminded that the fight for women’s safety and environmental justice is one and the same. Both require us to value life, restore balance, and refuse violence in all its forms.
Every pair of shoes in this campaign tells a story. Every pair demands change.
She walked away. He didn’t stop.
Walk in her shoes. Wear justice. Build safety.
#WearJustice #BuildSafety
As Canada marks Violence Against Women Prevention Week (April 20–April 26) and Fashion Revolution Week (April 22–April 27), a bold new campaign is calling attention to the threads that tie together the global fashion industry and the epidemic of gender-based violence. “Wear Justice, Build Safety”, launching April 21, is a two-week fundraising and public awareness campaign that highlights how systems of violence—at home and in the garment industry—are interconnected. The campaign is led by Battered Women’s Support Services (BWSS), with the goal of raising $75,000 to support frontline anti-violence services, prevention education, and economic empowerment.
